Ponderence

God wants to bless me.

But he doesn't want to let me trick myself into thinking it was my own doing. That would, in the long run, be a curse, because it would increase my pride and sense of self-accomplishment, which is idolatry.

And so I notice this pattern in my life, wherein God blesses me, and I gradually (or at times rather rapidly) grow confident in myself and my accomplishments. Just when I think I've arrived, I fall flat on my face. I squirm and wriggle and sometimes complain, but I've hit an impenetrable wall and nothing I can do in my own rite can save me from myself.

And so I finally come to my senses, thank God for the reality check, acknowledge my total and complete lack of ability to help myself, and ask for the strength and wisdom to stand.

Then not only do I stand, but I run and leap and bound; you see God is showing off his ability to resurrect my dead dry bones in style.

I can soar like an eagle, and walk on water.

Until I look at the waves and I forget that I'm not the one holding me up, and I cry "Lord, save me!"

And then He does. You see, He loves me.

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"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28