An Historic Event

On this day, a few minutes ago, I became the first human being on the Internet to string together the phrase, 'amniotic pudding'. You can witness this infamous deed in all its glory at the scene of the crime (Twitter). Perhaps I should explain. I received an e-mail from BabyCenter.com, which described the progress of my wife's pregnancy, which is currently in its 11th week. Last week, it described the size of the baby as that of a kumquat. This week, as that of a fig. On a side note, I think it's neat that they describe the size, not in terms of sterile, impersonal measurement units, but in terms of common, palpable, three-dimensional objects full of life, personality, and taste. I suppose it was an unfortunate word association: it being the Christmas season and my child being compared to a fig brought the word 'figgy' to my mind (from the song, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas")--it's not my fault, really. I was originally reaching for a scientific-sounding adjective, the better to display me geekiness, but the ghost of Christmas music past reared its ugly, overplayed head, and the genius of it irresistibly compelled me. The moment I decided on the word 'figgy', as you might imagine, I was instantly predisposed to think of 'pudding' when I went on to summarize a new and dynamic activity, and by extension the medium in which said activity was taking place. What father wouldn't gleefully announce to the world that his child was engaged in such elegant motion as to be compared with acrobatics and water ballet at such a tender age? It was only after I had typed it that I realized the magnitude of what I had created. A week ago, there were some unique two-word phrases posted to the blog on xkcd that turned up zero hits on Google. Surely this phrase was so grotesque, so uniquely bizarre and demented as to be worthy of inclusion. Indeed it was. The only hit on Google was a page full of random words that (1) was not human generated, and (2) did not in fact contain either word, even in the cached version of the page. I am thus justified in disqualifying that page and claiming the crown and glory for my own. I therefore firmly place my foot upon the top of this particular Everest and claim the due renown.