Two Near-Death Experiences Within 5 Minutes

"For God speaks once, yea twice, yet man perceives it not."~Job 33:14 No, it wasn't me. It was a contractor at work. He has a 3-month-old BMW--correction: had--now he has a blue clump of metal. On his way to work this morning he lost control due to some slippery pavement and flew off a cliff. Luckily, there were trees, one of which his car wrapped itself around, bending his passenger door almost to his knee, then he rolled a little further and finally stopped. He would've been trapped in his car and likely not found for a while because of how far off the road he had fallen (when he returned to the scene, all he could see from the road was light from one of the tail lights blinking). Fortunately, his driver's side window rolled down and when he looked out he saw open air. So he grabbed his badge from work¹ and slipped out head-first. Then a tree that he'd hit fell on him--almost. It stopped inches before it hit his head because it hit other trees. He described the trunk as over a foot thick. So he scrambled up the cliff, got back onto the road, and walked to a QFC over a mile away, where apparently his cell phone got decent enough reception to call the police. They had to use two tow trucks to pull the car out and shut down the whole road to do it. He showed us pictures of his car at the impound yard. It looks as if a metal-eating T-rex took several bites out of the passenger side. So I show up to work this morning, and in my inbox is an e-mail from my boss saying that this guy wouldn't be in until about noon because he was having a bit of car trouble. Apparently he had called in and told my boss that he had a bit of a fender-bender. Talk about understatements! Anyway, that's all anyone knew until he showed up, true to his word, at about noon. He was perfectly fine--not a scratch on his body (he refused several offers to be taken to the doctor to get checked out), just some grass stains on his pants from when he'd scrambled back up to the road, and someone spotted a glass shard that was still under his eye. ¹Hey, he's a contractor. If he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid.